What is conflict?

Conflict is an inevitable and uncomfortable part of life. At some point, everyone experiences conflict in one way or another. Ultimately, conflict arises because people have different viewpoints, values, grievances, and specific unsatisfied wants and desires that they want to be met by the other party. It is common for people in conflict to hold onto their own point of view, often unable to see the other party's perspective. In fact, it is natural to even deny the other person's point of view, as if it doesn’t exist. This can exacerbate and perpetuate the conflict. To add to the problem, in many cases, people find it difficult to express their viewpoints and what they truly want due to being engulfed in emotions like resentment or grief.

What happens when you are in conflict with someone?

People deal with conflict in their life in a few different ways. It often depends on your style in relation to conflict, which can be more Avoiding, Accommodating, or Competing.

In the case of Avoidance, you may break all ties and lose all contact with the other party, resulting in a “cold war.” While this may seem as an ultimate better way to deal with a conflict for some, at the end of the day it breeds more pain and resent, and this way you are not growing as an individual.

If you tend to Accommodate, you may begin to over-accommodate the other party, to avoid the discomfort of a conflict. People who have a tendency for over-accommodation often disregard their own needs, views and values, which can result in feelings of low self-worth and self-betrayal.

If you tend to Compete, you may start a vicious fight, with the intention of winning and proving you are right, which may result in a violent and aggressive communication style, ultimately hurting others and also yourself.

In any of these outcomes, there is a loss of authentic contact, impending resentment, anger, and frustration. At the end of the day, you may feel greatly unsatisfied or even wounded.

Of course, there are those people who are able to actively listen, engage in a conversation in more healthy and productive ways and hold multiple perspective at the same time. It often takes certain level of emotional maturity and skillful communication. It can be challenging to do the resolution of a conflict all on your own, especially if the other party is not on the same page with you.

That’s why professional mediation can be a powerful solution for the parties in conflict.

What is Mediation?

Mediation is a process of resolving conflicts by engaging in an open dialogue with the intention of finding a mutually beneficial solution for the parties in conflict. It involves a third-party mediator who facilitates communication between the conflicting parties and helps them to understand each other's perspectives, wants and needs.

The mediator creates a safe and respectful space where everyone feels heard and understood. They help the parties to identify their underlying needs and interests, and to explore possible solutions and options that meet everyone's needs. The mediator does not impose their own ideas or solutions, but instead facilitates the parties to find their own solutions that work for everyone, all based on an open dialogue with each party one-on-one, as well as all together in the same space.

Mediation is a non-adversarial approach to conflict resolution that empowers the parties to be safe expressing themselves and creative in finding solutions to meet in the middle. It is a collaborative and creative process that can lead to new insights and opportunities for growth and understanding.

Mediation can be seen as a form of negotiation, with the ultimate goal of helping parties meet in the middle by acknowledging each other's viewpoints, giving what is needed, negotiating what cannot be given, and finding a mutually agreeable solution. This process may ultimately result in peace and, for some, even a deeper bond and healing.

What types of conflict can I resolve with mediation?

Mediation can be used to resolve a wide variety of conflicts, including:

• Workplace conflicts between employees, colleagues or between employees and management

• Family disputes, such as those related to psychological, relational, financial, emotional conflicts

• Community & neighborhood conflicts, such as those related to property disputes, religion or race

• School conflicts between students, teachers, or parents

Conflicts can be complex and multi-faceted, involving a variety of factors such as the violation of rights/boundaries, clashing views, differences in values, unmet needs and wants, and unheard opinions.

Mediation can assist you in finding common ground and resolving grievances in a constructive and healthy manner.

Ultimately, conflict can be an opportunity to grow and expand your perspective, enriching your life in a great way. Not to mention, you may end up finding joy in deeper bonds and connections with people.